Fictions And Facts About Marriage Counseling
When it comes to getting advice on relationships, how well do you understand the fictions and facts about Marriage or love?
Most people take it for granted that love is the one thing which counts in choosing a life partner. “Do I love him?” or, “Do I love her enough?” Many young people believe that the answer to these questions should settle the matter of marriage. Bill might make a far better husband, but if Jill loves Jack more than she loves Bill, she will marry Jack.
In many other cultures and at other times and places, the idea of what is most important in marriage has been entirely different. Of course, the movies, stories, and ads present this point of view because it is in line with what we already believe, and want to keep on believing. Back of it all is the very powerful force of public opinion. The fiction is accepted because that is the way marriage choices seem to work out in real life.
Before we assume that our thoughts are correct, or even better, we should ask ourselves how we have come by them.
So far as we as individuals are concerned, the answer is not difficult. When giving advice on relationships we believe that love is the crucial matter in marriage because this idea has been drilled into us from childhood. The media is partly responsible; most plots are so organized in movies and television. For example, parents who object to the love choices of their children are made to appear selfish and wrong.
For example, there was Cousin Gussie. All the family thought that her marriage was a mistake. But when she explained that he was the man she loved, that seemed to settle the question for everyone. Our friends have made what have seemed to others very peculiar choices. But we all seemed to feel that if they were really in love, there was nothing else for them to do.
These love matches did not always work out very well. Even in the stories, the glamorous Romeo, whom the girl left all to marry, was sometimes presented as little more than an attractive and exciting tramp. After the marriage, he may desert her and their children and leave them without financial or emotional support for months or even years at a time.
According to the fiction, despite all these hardships, the girl had done the only thing she could do; marry the man she loved.
These strange and often tragic choices are often explained on the basis that love just doesn’t make sense anyway. Love is supposed to be some strange, mysterious Something which nobody can understand. The only way you can tell it is by the way you feel when your heart goes bumpity-bump, and all that. Furthermore, there doesn’t seem to be anything you can do about it. It just IS, or IS NOT. You cannot make yourself love another, no matter how eager he may be to marry you, or how good a husband he would make.
I am Colin Auschrat, R.Psych.Counselling Psychologist. My goal as a Licensed Clinical Psychologist specializing in couples therapy and a couple coaching is straightforward: to help you become an excellent partner.
I offer short-term, results-focused, and high-impact professional marriage therapy Edmonton for couples. I provide actionable strategies that address a full range of couple’s issues. I design interventions focused on finding the fastest solution for facilitating change, using an integrative style that blends the best scientific (evidence-based) approaches.
Does it feel like your marriage or relationship is headed in the wrong direction? As a couples expert, I know emotional interventions can stop the gridlock, and have the power to establish and recreate a supportive, loving bond between partners.
When couples get qualified coaching and supportive emotional intervention, the relationship will get back on track, and the couples will feel safe together, feel valued and important to one another, be flexible, and communicate.
As a strategist, I work with clients who are seeking the best solution quickly. I invite you to schedule a session.
- Colin Auschrat, R.Psych.Counselling Psychologist
- Auschrat Counseling Services
- Affiliated with Rejuvenation Health Services
- 16028 100A Ave NW, Edmonton, Alberta T5P 4A2, Canada
– Client Testimonial
“My wife and I chose Colin to help us with our relationship, and we’re glad we found him. We had a great first meeting (only fifty dollars!) and immediately felt comfortable working together. It was reassuring to know we had a pro in our corner who was just as involved as a friend would be.
– Client Testimonial
“What I learned is that to continue turning towards the relationship when there is a challenge is the best option. With Colin coaching us in session we learned to use soft beginnings when we sit down and communicate. Issues will always come up, for sure, but with Colin’s compassionate guidance, I know I’ll have the tools to deal with them.”
– Client Testimonial
“Working with Colin was a pleasure. He is a resource for creativity and innovative thinking about the appealing possibilities for relationships, communication, and a quality life. Also, and as crucial, is his kindness and ability to be trusted. He points out areas of concern in a skillful way so that you feel inspired become a better communicator yourself.”